Blog Posts

3 Steps to Successful Couples Counseling: Step 3

Friday, February 14th, 2020

What Should We Expect During Our Sessions?

{Read in 4 minutes} “We should have done this years ago,” a client remarked after leaving his first Couples session. “Why did we wait so long to do this?” 

3 Steps to Successful Couples Coaching/Counseling: Step 2

Tuesday, January 21st, 2020

Step 2: Is Couples Coaching/Counseling Worth It?

{Read in 3 minutes} Time and money are usually the reason most people give for avoiding counseling as a viable solution to relationship issues (or for anything they are afraid of doing).

3 Steps to Successful Couples Coaching

Friday, January 10th, 2020

Step 1: What Is “Couples Counseling” Anyway? 

Many people object to signing up for Counseling or "Counseling/Coaching" sessions. The usual reasons?

•We don’t need it. That’s for other people.

•We’re not that bad!

•No one in my family ever needed help!

•They (“practitioners”) are a bunch of loonies and only want your money!

•I don’t believe in counseling!

•I'm not going to change. It's your problem, not mine.

Life Is Too Short for Stale Coffee!

Wednesday, December 18th, 2019

{Read in 4 Minutes} Prior to the days of Starbucks, Tim Hortons, and Keurig, I remember reaching for the coffee pot to begin my morning routine, aware that there was still some left from the day before. I would always pause for a moment, reminded of a time I was fearful of throwing it out because of how wasteful it would be.

3 “Major” Tips for Surviving the Holidays As a Couple

Tuesday, December 3rd, 2019

{Read in 3 Minutes} Once again, we are into the holiday season which, for many couples, is akin to traversing a minefield — dealing with extended, nuclear, and blended families, not to mention each other. The issues are often a catalyst for emotional “triggers” between a couple, which are as cyclical as the holidays. 

I Need A Hero

Monday, November 18th, 2019

I Need A Hero

“Where have all the good men gone and where are all the Gods?

Where’s the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?

He’s gotta be strong and he’s gotta be fast, and he’s gotta be fresh from the fight...

It’s gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet”


– Bonnie Tyler

7 Traits of Successful Couples

Monday, October 28th, 2019

{Read in 5 minutes}

1. ​They truly listen. 

You may not really hear what is being said, but rather what you think was being said. Our minds tend to fill in the gaps of what we did not hear. We seem to have voices in our heads giving us permission to not pay attention.

Invest in Your Marriage — Not Your Divorce!

Monday, October 21st, 2019

{Read in 4 minutes} By the time some couples reach my office door, they often say they have had it:

 •If we continue the way we have been, we are through!

 •I’ve had enough!

 •I don’t know whether to stay or go.

 •How bad is bad enough to leave?

Couples and Expectations

Wednesday, October 2nd, 2019

{Read in 3 minutes}  It is a basic human trait to project our desires and thoughts onto those closest to us. We project our ideals onto other people and we create images of how they should behave in our minds… kind of like a picture book or photo album. Yet, unspoken assumptions and unrealistic expectations commonly sabotage relationships. When an individual has a strong desire to have their partner meet their impossible expectations, they become blinded to who their partner really is.

Rewriting your Relationship Story

Monday, September 16th, 2019

{Read in 4 minutes}  As a Couples Therapist and Relationship Coach, I hear many stories about what IS wrong. When I ask what brings people in, most are quick to bring up the issues that provoked their call to action: 

-an affair, 

-too much drinking, 

-spending too much money.

Stop Dating Losers

Wednesday, September 4th, 2019

{Read in 5 minutes}  How often have you found yourself dating the same loser – over and over again — only to break up (again) and then wonder why you went out with them in the first place? If they were not right for you before, they won’t be right for you now, so how can you learn to stop dating losers and start dating the right people for you?

Preparing for the Life-Long Journey

Tuesday, August 6th, 2019

{Read in 4 minutes} Congratulations! We’re in a committed relationship. We're in love and planning a wedding or planning on moving in together. Everything is so wonderful. And then one day, we roll over in bed, look at our partner and say: “Who the heck are you?” 

You think you know each other by the time you get married, and you probably do. Even if you have an argument or two, not much goes wrong when you are courting. But that's going to wear off over time and as spouses they will reveal more of who they are “when the honeymoon is over.” 

The Advantages of Divorce Mediation

Saturday, May 11th, 2019

As financial planners, we are sometimes called on to assist with some of the sadder events in life – for example, death, disability and divorce.   Today I'll focus on divorce, and on the advantages of mediating your divorce rather than going the more expensive routes of litigation or 'collaborative' law...(read more)

I Trust The Intelligence Within Me

Sunday, April 21st, 2019

“I trust the intelligence within me. Whatever is happening out there is only a mirror of my own limited thinking.” Louise Hayes

Often when we are in an argument with our intimate partner, we find that trying to be heard is the hardest part. We want them to understand us so desperately that we get louder and more dramatic, often finding ourselves saying things that are hurtful and perhaps even untrue. We believe that the difficulty comes from our partner, when in reality, it is coming from within us... (read more)

“Delete the Wait and See Clause From Your Life!”

Sunday, April 7th, 2019

In the words of Michael Beckwith, most people live by the “wait and see” approach:  “Well, let’s just wait and see what happens.  Such an approach does not bear the desired fruit because there is no vision or commitment involved. When we plant seeds, we allow them time to germinate; we water them and remove weeds. Likewise, plant seeds in the garden of your life...(read more)

10 Relationship Rules to a Healthier Marriage

Saturday, March 30th, 2019

As a divorce mediator and relationship coach, I know that there will always be grounds for divorce; but I suggest that if you work instead on ground rules for marriage, then you won’t have to worry about the fatal halls of divorce court...(read more)

Real Listening

Saturday, March 23rd, 2019

If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? The same question might be asked of couples while they are arguing, or parents while they are yelling at their children. “They don’t listen to me. I feel like I am talking to the wall.” “He never hears me when I am talking...” (read more)

Stages Of Divorce

Saturday, March 16th, 2019

Marital separation is one of the greatest stresses a person can endure: the separation alone brings about a host of feelings. The change in lifestyle and financial burdens can also create additional stress. The trauma which is inherent in separation has the effect of overloading the parent, making it difficult to attend to the needs of children, who are also experiencing great stress...(read more)

Creative Communication

Saturday, March 9th, 2019

The first step, and the core of a strong and healthy relationship is clear and respectful communication--even when it's difficult.  Creative communication is the shared process of mutual understanding.
Making love last is a beautiful ideal, and a worthwhile goal. But it’s easier said than done...(read more)

15 Creative Ways to Make Love Last

Saturday, March 2nd, 2019

Making love last is a beautiful ideal, and a worthwhile goal. But it’s easier said than done. Especially as we change and grow, as our partners evolve, and as our life situations shift. Try some of these techniques if you really want to see a positive change in your partner's...(read more)

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Relationship Advice

Dear Wendy,
I started dating a man four years ago. We got along great and I thought we were headed somewhere, but six months into it, he told me he was still in a relationship with someone else. He said he’d been trying to get out of it for years, but hadn’t yet...
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